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Concepts and Clichés
Welcome to Concepts and Clichés, a blog dedicated to exploring the real-world application of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in everyday life. This space offers practical insights, expert advice, and thought-provoking reflections tailored for both prospective and current clients and anyone else who is interested in building a deeper understanding of common concepts. Here, you’ll find accessible explanations of CBT principles, common misconceptions (“clichés”), and how these concepts can be used to navigate life’s challenges.
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Panic Attacks: Why Breathing Retraining can Make Things Worse and What to do Instead
If you walk into a doctor’s office, a yoga studio, or even a high-stakes corporate boardroom and announce that you are feeling anxious, the response will be almost Pavlovian. Someone, inevitably, will tell you: "Just take a deep breath." It is the universal panacea. Breathing retraining—specifically deep, diaphragmatic breathing—has been the first line of defense for anxiety for decades. It appeals to our intuitive sense of biology: anxiety speeds us up, so slow breathing sho
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
12 min read
The Paralysis of Potential: Why We Freeze at the Crossroads and How to Eventually Chose, Loose and Live Despite Uncertainty
The Weight of the "What If" Let’s begin with a scene that is painfully familiar to anyone who has ever eaten in a restaurant with a menu longer than two pages. Meet Tom. Tom is a thirty-four-year-old accountant standing in a generic, mid-range Italian chain. He is staring at a laminated menu with the intensity of a bomb disposal technician deciding which wire to cut. His palms are slightly damp. His heart rate is elevated. The waitress is hovering, her patience thinning like
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
19 min read
"Why am I feeling this way?" When Emotional GPS Uses Outdated Data.
Imagine this scenario: Robert, a successful entrepreneur in his late 40s, a pillar of his community, dedicated and responsible. He’s taking full charge of his aging parent’s care, ensuring every need is met. Yet, during a mundane phone call, when his parent offers a slight criticism about his choice of laundry detergent, Robert is suddenly overwhelmed by a familiar, searing wave of guilt. "Why am I feeling this way?" he wonders. "I’m doing everything right, and my parent is t
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
11 min read
From Autopilot to Authenticity: How to Stop Our Fears from Hijacking Our Interactions.
Introduction: The Sunday Morning Paradox Picture a typical Sunday morning. It is 10:00 AM, the coffee is brewing, and the light is streaming through the kitchen window in that particular, lazy way that suggests a day of rest. You are standing at the counter, and you have a very specific vision of who you are. You see yourself as a patient partner, a loving parent, a person of integrity who values reason and kindness above all else. You have promised yourself—perhaps just last
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
13 min read
When Feeling and Knowing Disagree: Bridging the Gap between Head and Heart.
There is a specific moment in therapy, usually around the third or fourth session, that every clinician recognizes. It is the moment the impasse is declared. The client, who is intelligent, self-aware, and perhaps a bit exhausted, leans back in the chair. They have filled out the worksheets. They have identified the cognitive distortions. They have looked at the evidence. And then, with a mixture of frustration and defeat, they say the sentence that defines the dilemma: "I kn
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
11 min read
Breaking the Therapy Echo Chamber: Why Validation is not Enough.
When we enter therapy, we often arrive carrying the heavy burden of being misunderstood. We feel unheard by our partners, undervalued by our bosses, or invalidated by our families. Consequently, there is a natural, human yearning for a space that feels completely safe—a sanctuary where our version of reality is accepted without question. We want to be told that we are right, that our feelings are justified, and that the world has treated us unfairly. There is a distinct relie
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
11 min read
Mindfulness. Not Mindlessness.
In 1979, a molecular biologist named Jon Kabat-Zinn opened a clinic in the basement of the University of Massachusetts Medical Center. His aim was to bring the ancient Buddhist practice of mindfulness into a secular, clinical setting to help patients suffering from chronic pain and stress. His seminal work, Full Catastrophe Living , introduced the West to Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) and provided a definition that has become the gold standard: mindfulness is "pay
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
7 min read
Wisdom: Living Life with Emotions and Pragmatism
This post is a companion piece to " Chronic Stress: How Mental Patterns Shape Our Struggles. " The other post emphasized the primacy of rational action in the face of crisis. When a child is drowning, we do not examine our emotions but jump into the lake to save them. Our survival, our livelihoods, our very commitments sometimes demand immediate, decisive action, regardless of the emotional maelstrom within. The emphasis of effective action is not a dismissal of emotion. Our
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
10 min read
Chronic Stress: How Mental Patterns Shape Our Struggles.
Life is a continuous negotiation, often presenting demands that stretch our capacities to their absolute limits. When these pressures mount, and the prospect of falling short feels like an existential threat. Our brains, usually marvels of processing, can descend into a cognitive fog: concentration falters, memory malfunctions, and even minor decisions feel insurmountable. Our bodies bear the brunt: chronic fatigue, muscles locked in tension, digestive turmoil, and a comprom
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
8 min read
The Night Shift: Why Your Brain Might Be Waking You Up In a Panic
You're deep in the peaceful oblivion of sleep. Next, you're bolt upright, heart hammering, lungs seizing, gripped by an inexplicable terror. There's no fire, no intruder, no actual threat – just the raw, visceral sensation of pure panic. It's a nocturnal panic attack . For those who experience them, these episodes are uniquely unsettling. They hijack your body's alarm system when you're supposed to be most secure, leaving you shaken, exhausted, and sometimes, dreading the nex
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
7 min read
WHY IS PANIC SO DIFFICULT TO DEAL WITH?
To say that panic attacks feel awful is an understatement. Panic attacks are awful AND confusing. A panic attack is full blown alarm...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
5 min read
A FEW WORDS ON WORRY...
Chances are that you have tried to stop worrying but the whole endeavor turned out to be far more difficult and frustrating than...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
9 min read
AS CONCEPTS GO, POSITIVE THINKING IS RATHER UNHELPFUL
It is true: I don’t like the push towards positive thinking. I think that CBT is about realistic evaluation of what is happening in our lives and about learning how to manage our inner experiences in a way that makes sense AND feels real. It’s about cultivating a stance of open curiosity towards our world and fostering the willingness to tinker. Our growth is a process of tinkering. The trial and error. The ongoing negotiation between what we want, what is possible, wha
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
3 min read
WHAT IS EXPOSURE? IN SIMPLE TERMS. AND WITH EXAMPLES…
Exposure is a CBT technique used to treat anxiety disorders that requires us to face triggers that cause anxiety, but are not dangerous. ...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
7 min read
COVID19: UNCERTAINTY – HOW CAN I FUNCTION IF I DO NOT KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
Contagious illnesses such as Covid19, economy, politics are all complex systems. It is possible to build some predictive models but...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
6 min read
OF TRIGGERS, DANGERS AND THINGS OF IMPORTANCE
Google dictionary defines trigger as “an event or circumstance that is the cause of a particular action, process, or situation”. Danger...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
3 min read
THINKING SHORTCUTS ARE UNDERSTANDABLE. THEY JUST DON'T ALWAYS SERVE US RIGHT.
A lot of our mind work occurs at a non-conscious level. We can be propelled into action or aware of the emotions that we may feel but not...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
8 min read
COMPASSION IS NOT THE SAME AS HELP.
Have you ever stayed up all night worrying about the wellbeing of someone you care about? You might have just learnt about this person’s...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
3 min read
FROM PAVLOV'S DOGS TO BAD VIBES
Have you ever felt “bad energy”? You might believe that some people create bad vibes and feel particularly uncomfortable with them. ...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
4 min read
IS IT OVER YET? MANAGING IMPATIENCE DURING COVID19
You might have found yourself wondering when it will be all over and when the world would return to normal. It is a very understandable...
Joanna Szczeskiewicz
3 min read
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